The main theme of my life is the desire to connect my heart with my mind; connecting feeling with knowing.
As a child I always felt like an outsider. I was a good student at school but with social rules, which seemed so natural for others, I had great difficulties. I preferred to be alone or hang out with older children. Much later I began to understand that it was my high sensitivity that blocked my social abilities. I tried to follow what was happening verbally while my senses were picking up all kinds of other signals which left me in confusion. Especially clairsentience has always been present. In the absence of education in this area, I identified myself with the emotions of the people around me that I felt, I thought they were mine, and as a result I often felt very unhappy.
I also had a strong sense of justice. With my heart as a yardstick I felt what was honest and pure and what was not. My heart is definitely the place from which I create and shape my life.
As a child I was a dreamer, I created whole fantasy worlds in my head, and with writing and drawing I could express myself. I did what my name suggests (Doubting Thomas), examining the great mysteries of life. My hunger for knowledge left me reading one book after another.
After high school I studied Musicology for a while. Not that I have great musical talent, I only played a little saxophone and piano, but more because I knew in my heart that the information I would receive in college, would help me understand the bigger picture.
When I was 21 years old, I started organizing my life the way I thought it should be organized. A job at an accountancy firm, getting married and giving birth to my children. In the years that followed I was so focused on doing things the way I thought were required of me, that I lost track. Twelve years passed by and I did not know who I was and what I was doing. I was 33 and burned out.
This moment has been a turning point, a starting point from which I rediscovered myself. With four daughters mirroring me it went very quickly. By observing the girls I was confronted with my dark side and by seeing what was going on in front of me, I threw off many layers and became the being I am at the core.
For example; one of my daughters was a complete mystery to me. I did not understand why she had trouble doing multiple chores and school revealed that she was behind with her language. She fled into her own dreamworld every time she had to plan and execute an assignment independently. She got labelled dyslexia and to gain the understanding of her classmates, she gave a talk about dyslexia. Together we spent hours at the pc, looking for information about this. As we came to know more, we discovered that she is a right-brained learner with all the wonderful qualities that come along with it. And not only that, I discovered I am a right-brainer myself too, and now I could see that what was annoying me about my child, were actually the characteristics I did not appreciate in myself. This revelation renewed our relationship with more understanding and patience. To help my daughter with learning and the prospect of two younger right-brained sisters who just started their school career, I decided to become a coach for right-brained children with learning disabilities. It is really wonderful to see how a child's confidence grows as it discovers that it really can learn.
At 33 years of age I rediscovered my journey into the great mysteries of life and started looking at how I could connect my heart with my head. I wanted to know what I was feeling. On the one hand I got to know my inner strength and qualities, my high sensitivity, my heart strength and my creativity. On the other hand I filled my head with all the information I could find about quantum physics, geometry, light, sound, consciousness and many other diverse scientific and spiritual issues, just to get clear how life creates itself. Nevertheless, there still was a separation between my heart and my head. Only after several trips to places like Egypt and England and after experiencing geometry by playing with shapes, the knowledge of my head dropped into clear knowing and feeling in my heart. I became one with the shapes that form me as a human being.
One night I got into a conversation with my eldest daughter, eleven years old at that time. We exchanged ideas about the big questions of life and I told her about all the subjects I was so intrigued by. To my surprise, she understood what I told her and, in addition (perhaps because she could stay up a little longer), she asked questions and kept asking questions. This made me realize that there are probably a lot more children who have similar questions that they would like to see answered. So I went looking for a way to reach out to these kids. This led me to sharing my findings through my other passion: writing. And so the idea was born to gather all information and wrap it in an exciting adventure. A mysterious journey of discovery that shows children how light, sound, geometry and consciousness play together; how everything actually is one. The book 'Isa and Max and the flying skateboard‘ saw the light.
Besides writing and coaching children, I give workshops for adults and I love drawing geometric images, with a ruler and pencil or on the computer. In line with my inner desire for more freedom, it felt good to start my own publishing company so I could publish my creations. This became Divine Heart Publishing.
And that's not all. Nothing is static, everything is evolving and so is my outlook on life and reality. Every day I learn more and I rewrite my vision of yesterday. Also, my kids keep touching me with their wisdom, especially the wisdom and truth that lies in their hearts. And together with my beloved life partner Maxim I dive deeper and deeper into an infinite sea of space and love that is so beautiful that there are no human words to describe it.
Inspiration for new creations and projects I have plenty. The first project that I have initiated is writing a novel for adults, about Egypte, building tempels and the sacred marriage. In addition, a sequel to ‘Isa and Max’ has long been a picture in my head and wants to be captured in writing. Also the idea of making an animated film and an educational package for primary schools, based on the information in the ‘Isa and Max’ book is something I would like to do.
Enough to do!